One week ago I handed in my notice at Asda. I will now try to explain to both you and myself why I wrote my resignation in crayon. One thing I realised over the past week is that the only fair way to rescind a resignation letter written in crayon is to eat it. It's the sort of thing you didn't know you knew until you hear it and think ahh, that's right. It should really be a law. It's why ink is permanent and Crayola's non-toxic. It's why people don't do it. Actually, that's not true. People don't do it because it's a fucking knobhead thing to do. It's got considerable overlap with a 'fuck you'.
I tried my best to avoid this 'fuck you' by giving a long notice, keeping the wording sincere and handing it over an envelope. The trouble is it has been over a week now and nobody has mentioned it. Which either means nobody has read it or they believe I have a severe learning disability. That started as a joke but has manifested into genuine concern. That explains a lot they must be thinking. If I eat my notice now it will only add to their mounting concerns. Well, there's no backing out now, which is actually why I did it.
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